I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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