yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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