There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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