My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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