I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize