i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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