thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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