Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
