I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
