Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
