I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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