I wish I could punch you in the face.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize