So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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