Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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