Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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