Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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