Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
