i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
