She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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