when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
