Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
