We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize