69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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