I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
