i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
