He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
