Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
