Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
