cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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