so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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