At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
