i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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