I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
