Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize