she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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