I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
