Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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