My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You need a sexual gate keeper
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
