So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
