IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
