fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
