I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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