But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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