This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
