I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
