In the future we'll all be gay
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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