I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
