porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize