A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
