True but thats because hes a fetus.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
