is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
