But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
