i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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