I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
