I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
