he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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