found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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