Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize
