Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
