We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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