maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
