laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
this will be a night to untag.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize